Vol 1 No 9 29th May 2001
If I were the new Chief Justice of Lagos State. I would buy a very strong girdle – definitely not from Aswani Market and gird my loins tightly for I have realized that, this seat (C.J’s) ‘no be joke.’ Of course I would work so hard and long that my industry would so shout that people would give my critics dirty looks before saying “But you people said the woman was lazy!”
Secondly, I shall be very gracious and generous to my erstwhile seniors, particularly Longe .J who so far has been admirable in his acceptance of the overthrow which has overthrown overthrow (Baba 70, rest on in grasses).
Thirdly, I shall ‘Enronise’ the Judiciary particularly between the hours of 9.00 am – 4.00 pm so that the courts would have uninterrupted supply of power and no lazy bone judge can have any hiding place again.
Fourthly, I shall conduct a special deliverance service for all registry and probate staff so that God will remove the “EGUNJE MUST DROP” spirit from them. And if this fails, I shall now purge these departments in the manner of a massacre.
Fifthly, I shall see to it that all judiciary staff are taken care of, particularly those that work directly with judges, such as court registrars, secretaries, recorders, transcribers, etc.
Sixthly, I shall continue and even improve on my predecessor’s habit of quick, efficient assignment of new cases, treatment of petitions, etc.
Seventhly, I shall keep my office open to all lawyers, unlike my immediate predecessor who warmly welcomed old, known lawyers, retired judges and other members of the public but who did not mind closing his door and mind in a most ungracious manner to yet-to-be-known counsel as did he to one Mr. Squib and one Miss Squib in the afternoon of 17th May 2001, even without enquiring about their mission. Mr. Ayanlaja, Senior Advocate of Nigeria, please bear me witness Sir. I lie?
Eighthly, I shall cause death to the dearth of receipts in the judiciary (bloody shame) and destroy the prevailing “war-lordship arrangements” in the bailiff section, which allows for court bailiffs to illegally employ an army of toughs to act as proxy process servers and proxy court-order enforcers. To this end in my own time, government shall employ many more people as bailiffs and cause at least 100 motorcycles to be bought and maintained for their official use.
Ninthly, I shall not by any reason of my ascension to this exalted seat compromise the independence and integrity of the Judiciary to any other arm of government, particularly the Executive arm. And this, come high or low politics in the year 2003 and even beyond.
Finally, I shall endeavour to read the SQUIB magazine weekly and give a practical directive to all my judges whether rookie or old hand to do likewise, even if it is their closets. I will also advise those with animus against the SQUIB to drop their arms for it is a difficult thing to swallow thorns or capture thunder with bare hands. Evil follows the evil doer and he shall fall into it, he, judge or no who sets traps for the innocent. MARK MY WORDS.
Related link: www.learnedsquib.blogspot.com
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